I love cupcakes!

Do you ever have a day (or three) when you're just down in the dumps? You don't know where this feeling came from and not even your favorite person in the whole wide world can cheer you up. Well, my friends, that is how I'm feeling today. It may be hormonal (sorry for all of you men who think this is TMI - get over it) but I really haven't traced these feelings long enough to figure it out. I'm a happy person 98% of the time so I always get super upset with myself when I start to feel like this. There is absolutely no reason for me to be sad! Life is great!

So, on days like this, I like to treat myself to a cupcake. But not just any cupcake. I enjoy delicious miniature cake treats from none other than Coastal Cupcakes. Not only are the two owners of this company women, but they are also UNCW alumnae and very active in the local community. They attend a lot of Alumni Association events with the brightest smiles and that makes the whole staff extremely happy!

Coastal Cupcakes offers a variety of delicious treats for customers. They have "everyday flavors" that you can find on the daily menu, but they also have "special flavors" that are available on different days of the week. One of their most popular "special flavors" is bacon (gag). Apparently these cupcakes go flying off of the shelves, and people pre-order them by the dozen. That.is.gross. I adore cupcakes, but I do not adore bacon.

Some of my personal favorite flavors include: key lime krazy, flip flop chocolate, cookies n cream, and chocolate angel food with Nutella whip cream. Now, that is not to say that I despise the other flavors. In all honestly, I'll eat anything that does not contain bacon and/or coconut. Give me a cupcake (or an entire cake) and I'm a happy girl!

I just had to share these two cupcakes with you. How cute are they!??! I think this is such a creative idea for a wedding...



Coastal Cupcakes has two locations - one in downtown Wilmington (which is convenient to my office) and another right before the drawbridge at Wrightsville Beach (which is convenient to my home). The prices are fairly reasonable too, if you don't have the time/imagination to make your own delicious cupcake concoctions. With all of that being said, there really is no reason for me to not eat cupcakes every day!

(I would also like to add that I deserve multiple cupcakes today because not only am I feeling blue, but I have to go sit in a dang staff meeting. UGH!)

My name is Tiffany and I am a book worm.

I love to read. I always have. I hope to always love to read. I will read anything - from a sales ad to a magazine to a 1,000 page novel. I will read the same things over and over again to the point of [near] memorization.

When I was a kid, I would stay with my grandmother during the summer days. At least twice a week, we'd travel to the local library to stock up on books to read that would hopefully last us until our next trip to the library. Let me remind you that I am from a very small town, so the books I had to choose from weren't of the most challenging variety. Let's just say that I was reading adult literature by the age of 6. I think this was due to the fact that I had read so much up to that age, and not due to the lack of literature available. We definitely ordered books to be shipped in from other larger libraries and they didn't do it for me either.

The librarian at school would always yell at me for choosing to read books that were too "mature" for my age group. Really!?!? You're going to discourage a child from reading and excelling? Think again, sister. That may work on the other kiddos, but not this one! I will read what I want to read whenever I want to read it. And don't you try to tell me otherwise! I even went to a private school, where you're supposed to be encouraged (read: pushed) to excel and raise above the majority. I absolutely did, don't get me wrong, but I think that librarian just had it out for me.

We would go on road trips a lot when I was a kid too. My other set of grandparents live in upstate NY, which is a 12 hour drive from my parent's house in MD, so that allowed for plenty of reading time. My mom would wrap presents for me and give one to me at certain points along the drive. Most of the time they were books; sometimes they were little trinkets or coloring books (I love coloring!). When they were books, she'd buy me a trilogy or series and give me the first one as we were leaving the house. Once she saw I was nearing the end of the book, she'd give me the next in the series. It was like Christmas in the van! Meanwhile, my baby brother proceeded to cry and spit up the whole car ride (don't even get me started on that kid).

This brings me to my recent obsession: www.goodreads.com. This fabulous website was introduced to me by none other than Gina, my wombmate. She also loves to read. This is a great way to keep track of all of the books that you are currently reading, would like to read, and have previously read. You can rate these books and suggest books to your friends. You can also follow your favorite authors and their blogs. This website posts everything on the main page and provides a feed similar to Facebook. You can set your status to show what page you are on in a certain book. It even allows you to show that you're reading multiple books at a time, which I often do.

As you are all aware, I have just completed "Open" by Andrea Agassi. I have now moved on to "My Life in France" by Julia Child (again, not helping my Parisian obsession). My current beach read is "She's Come Undone" by Wally Lamb (which hasn't gotten much attention lately because I've been out of town on the weekends). My work read (it's the slow season for me) is "The Funny Thing Is..." by Ellen Degeneres. I anticipate the work read to be completed by Thursday; Julia must be complete by July 14 because that is when she is due back to the library. Next on the docket: LA Candy!

Allow me speak further about my love of the library. When I was in college, I was forever in the library. But I wasn't reading books for fun. I was reading scientific journals, doing research for 50+ page papers, or studying until my brains seeped out of my ears. After college, I was so busy working, commuting, and playing volleyball, that I didn't have much time to read. Now that my adult life has slowed down a bit and I've gotten into a normal routine again, I can resume reading. Which means I can resume my weekly trips to the library! Because I work for the university, I can check out books for an entire semester!! How great is that?!?! Four months to read a dozen books? Psh, that's the easiest challenge there is. I also have a library card for the county library. I don't visit that library nearly as often as I do the campus library, mainly due to the convenience factor of the campus library. Yes, I do pass multiple county libraries on my way home from work, but they're on the other side of the road and I just don't want to deal with the traffic.

I'm a fan of reserving books online. If I can't find a book at the university library that I want to place on hold, I'd search the county library database and they usually have it. I'll place it on hold, pick it up off of the "reserved" shelf, and be on my merry way. "They" really do make it quite convenient these days.

I've always been amazed when people tell me that they don't like to read. How can you NOT enjoy reading?!?! Reading keeps your mind sharp and educates you on subjects that you wouldn't normally learn about. How does one not enjoy expanding his or her mind? I mean really... it's just baffling. So much so that I cannot express in words how baffled I am by this "feeling" that others have.

Do you know how may words the average person reads a day? No really, do you? Because I don't and I would like to know. I bet I read at least triple that number, maybe even more. Someone find the answer to that question and let me know. In the meantime, I'll be reading.

Chicken and Pastry

I love chicken & pastry (not to be confused with chicken & dumplings).

I'll be honest - I didn't discover this tasty meal until I moved down south. Yes, I'm from the country but this is one of the most underrated southern meals available. While I much prefer homemade (read: fattening) C&P, the Cracker Barrel offers an excellent substitute. And at the CB, you can also get biscuits and/or corn bread before your meal, and then fried okra, hash brown casserole, and corn as your sides!! Now how exciting is that?!?! Gosh I love to eat. You'd think I weigh 300 lbs.

I have yet to master this wonderful meal in my own kitchen. I feel as though I would need to cook this in a cast iron skillet that has never been washed and has collected 15 years of dirt and grease. Luckily, I'm a little too hygienic for that so my C&P would be slightly healthier.

One day I vow to wow dinner guests with this tasty meal!

An Excellent Specimen

I know it's been a while since my last post, but I must piggyback on the AVP subject.

While we were in VAB, I found the finest specimen of a man. In fact, he was right near perfect to the mental image I have impossibly created for what I want my future husband to look like.

His name is Austin Rester. And no, I did not speak to him. He's on the AVP website so he really is near celebrity status in my world. (Anyone who has any sort of bio online, is famous.) That would be like my boss going up and introducing himself to Megan Fox. (Ok, so maybe he isn't that famous, but you get my point.)

Allow me to explain to you why I think he is physically perfect.

1. He's tall - 6'7" to be exact. As a tall girl, I need someone who is at least 6'2". I like to feel like I'm the girl in the relationship. I want to be the little spoon, not the big spoon.

2. He played football in college, which means he has muscles. I love a good male volleyball player, but most of them are just tall and lanky. Way to make me feel less feminine by proving that I have more muscle mass than you do.

3. He's just nice to look at. I fully intend to have whoever I marry be on display for me (and only me) for at least 5 hours a day.

Now I realize that I have probably blown my shot at him proposing to me. Especially since we haven't met yet. I fully intend, however, to attend other AVP events in the future, so maybe he can propose then. I just hope he knows which ring I want.

AVP in VA Beach

The AVP held a tournament in VA Beach this past weekend, June 18-20. Being the avid sports fanatic that I am (and amazing volleyball player, at that) I jumped at the chance to go when suggested by a friend.

Gina even drove down from Baltimore for a mini-reunion! We concocted this crazy scheme to leave our respective locations around 4 a.m. in an effort to make it to VAB by 8:30 a.m. to watch the qualifying matches. Boy were we ambitious! I knew that this feat would be easily accomplished, but I also knew that I would be egg sauce ted come Sunday eve when I had to drive back home. But we accomplished our mission! We had a slight issue with check-in being so late in the afternoon, but we definitely found plenty to do to fill the time. We rode our bikes about 20 blocks away to watch some matches, rode back to lounge by the pool, rode back to watch more matches and nap in the players tent, and again rode back to the hotel to check in. Let me just tell you - a shower has never felt so amazing!

By the time we checked in and freshened up, the rest of my crew from Wilmington had made it into town. We met them at Murphy's Irish Pub where we indulged in some delish food and adult beverages. I'm not sure if it was because we hadn't really eaten all day or if the food was genuinely good, but we couldn't eat fast enough! Most of us had fish and chips while the other few had steak sammiches. The music was a little loud on the outside deck where we were sitting, and we had to ask twice to turn it down, but other than that the ambiance was great!

After dinner, Rachael and I decided to meet up with some of her friends from the DC Metro area. We met them at the bar inside of Mahi Mah's for a couple of cervesas (seriously.... they were Coronas). My friend Chris from Raleigh and his friend Matt (also our roommates for the weekend) met up with us there a little later to retrieve the room key and bask in our awesomeness. It was then that I discovered that Matt recently graduated from Duke Law School. Needless to say, the conversation turned to my hatred for that university... and his equal hatred for Maryland. I love making new friends!

Gina and I were in bed around 1:30 a.m. in anticipation of waking up early for Saturday's matches. While wandering around the sponsors tents that Saturday, we were upgraded to the Malibu Rum VIP Suite for the rest of the weekend!! Not only did we obtain a pretty sweet neon yellow wristband, but we got free Malibu swag and our own bartender! Between her friends and mine, we pretty much took over the suite. We had an awesome view of the main court and court 1, as well as a full view of the other 20 courts, the ocean, and the rest of the boardwalk. Luckily, the VIP area was also shaded and full of chairs and couches. The temps got into the mid-90's with pretty high humidity. There was a slight breeze for most of the weekend, which was only felt up in that area. The volleyball gods were on our side this weekend!

Here's our view of the other courts from our VIP seating area:

Saturday night was pretty uneventful. We waited for over an hour to get a table at Waterman's and still didn't get seated, so we walked across the street to a pizza place where we sat outside immediately. After dinner, I of course fell asleep. Needless to say, it was an early night. We caught plenty of hell from Chris and Matt about how lame we were being. I'm sorry, but being awesome takes a lot out of a girl!

Sunday games included the semi's and final matches. The women's final match between May-Treanor/Branagh and Kessy/Ross was at 1 p.m. The men's final match between Hyden/Scott and Fuerbringer/Lucena was at 4 p.m. Since we were in the Malibu tent, we were supposed to be rooting for Kessy/Ross and Fuerbringer/Lucena, all who are sponsored by Malibu, butttt how can you cheer against Olympians?!?! We were all pulling for Misty and Nicole but in the end, they fell to Kessy/Ross in 3 games. Fuerbringer/Lucena also pulled out a victory, and Nick's family was actually seated in the VIP area with us (even though they aren't sponsored by Malibu... I guess Sean Scott had given them VIP bracelets) so it was a great win to experience with them.

Here are Misty and Nicole warming up:

And these are the guys during the final match:

Gina and I headed out fairly quickly after the games were over on Sunday. Not only did we have to bike back to the hotel, but we also had to fill up our gas tanks, grab some grub, and get back on the highways. I got home around 10:30, and she got home around 10 after getting stuck in some traffic.

I'm still trying to figure out how I had the energy to bring the necessary bags up to my room without falling down the stairs from exhaustion. I'm also still trying to figure out why I was so tired all weekend because I did nothing. I didn't really sit in the sun, and I certainly didn't work out.

It was so neat to be walking next to Olympians and other professional athletes. Everyone was so nice and laid back; not at all what I was expecting. I guess I'm just used to going to NBA and MLB games where security is mandatory.

Alas, the fabulous weekend is over and I am now back to the daily grind that is life. Sigh.

"Open"

Those of you with dirty minds will completely misinterpret the title of this blog post. Those of you who are dentists will say the word of the title approximately 3984 times a day. Those of you who have read Andre Agassi's autobiography will know exactly to what I'm referring.

I picked up Open about a week and a half ago. I had finally finished reading and returning all of the borrowed books on my nightstand. Andre's book was given to me for Christmas. It is now June. JUNE! I really don't like for books to sit that long and be lonely, but I also don't like borrowing books and keeping them forever. It really is a double edged sword.

But, I digress.

I must say that this book quickly became one of my favorite reads. Other people's lives fascinate me! Especially famous people. Mainly because I know that I will never be famous, let alone be a famous athlete (it's a little late for that, but I'll accept marrying a professional athlete as a consolation). I always wished that I could be a professional athlete. Get paid to be in shape and perform a sport that I love? Sold.

I digress again.

The one thing that Andre always says in this book is that he hates tennis. Everyone he tells always asks him why and really doesn't understand how he could hate something that he is so good at doing. After reading this book, I hope they understand. I certainly do.

To put it simply, the man's father is an asshole. That's the only way to describe it. He is the epitome of someone making their children do something simply because he was never good at that something. (Does that make sense?!?!) It's like those women who put their daughters in pageants and are so mean to them and strict about their "performances" because they never got to do pageants (or if they did, they were horrible in them).

I digress yet again.

This really is an easy read. And highly entertaining. Whenever I pick up a biography or autobiography, I know it's going to be fantastic. Simply because other people fascinate me! I love people watching, so why wouldn't I love to read about people's lives?!

The digression continues.

I've zoomed through this almost 400 page book in a little under two weeks. I actually paused for about 4 days to take a long weekend vacation to Virginia Beach (post to follow at a later date) and genuinely missed reading about Andre's life. I made it my mission to finish the book the first full day back at home.

I remember when this book was released around October of 2009. There was such controversy surrounding Andre's life and tennis career. From his drug addiction (which really didn't last that long) to his hair piece to his relationship with Brooke Shields. Really, we shouldn't be surprised by any of this. I feel that anyone with any sort of fame or celebrity is going to have a screwed up life. And sadly, Andre was destined for this from the beginning, all thanks to his father.

I must say that the photo on the front of the book jacket really scares me. I actually had to remove the jacket in order to read the book. For those of you who haven't seen it, here it is...

Does anyone else feel this way? Am I being weird again? I just can't decide... sometimes seeing people that close just scares me.

I really wasn't sure how this book was going to end. Andre has always (and probably always will be) my favorite tennis player, so I definitely closely followed his career. But we all know how fuzzy my memory can be at times. The end of the book was filled more with stories about his marriage to Steffi Graf (also my other fav) and their two adorable children. Andre finally found peace both in his professional and personal life, and I am genuinely so happy for him. Because, you know, we're bff's.

If you enjoy reading, I suggest that you pick up this great read for yourself! If you are able to read, that is.... which I hope you are since you're "reading" my blog. Geeze.

the truth hurts, but so does getting hit in the face

Those I see on a daily basis should know me well enough by now to know that if you ask me a question, I will answer with the absolute honest truth. If you're feeling sensitive that day, please don't ask me if you look fat. Because I will tell you the truth. Well, I won't say that you're fat, but I might say something like, "You look a few pounds heavier in that outfit."

Sometimes I sugar coat the truth, and sometimes I don't. Just know that you're going to get the truth out of my mouth in one form or the other. (I'm like those Almond Joy and Mounds commercials - "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't!")

God forbid someone needs an honest opinion during a day when I'm in a horrible mood. Not only will they receive the truth, but they will receive it under my evil wrath. I'm sorry, but I just can't help but release words from my mouth that drip with attitude (and sometimes disdain) when I'm in a horrid mood. Y'all should know this by now!

Now I know the old saying goes something like, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." But that's just not how I was raised. Yes, that phrase was thrown out once every blue moon, but it wasn't overused in my household like it was at my friends'. I was raised to always speak my mind but to keep my lips sealed during inappropriate times. I was raised to not interrupt a conversation (especially not an adult conversation), to say "yes/no ma'am/sir," to say "please" and "thank you," and to shake hands correctly (and not like a dead fish).

So I'm really confused as to why some [weird] people don't like me (not that I care) - they say I'm too harsh or abrasive. Would you rather me lie to your face!??! That's not what I consider a friend. Call me crazy, but maybe I was given a different friendship manual growing up. In my manual, it says that YOU are crazy if you think I'd ever want to be friends with someone who is what I like to call "fake nice."

And that, my friends, is my truth telling in a nutshell. So, if I hurt your feelings, please don't take it personally. If I want to hurt your feelings, you'll know. Nine times out of ten, I'm just telling you the truth and it is being misinterpreted. Please don't cry - I love you all!

flavored water from The Target

Allow me to introduce you to Market Pantry's Sparkling Water Beverage - available in a multitude of flavorful combinations. For those of you who do not shop at the food section at The Target, please take a gander in that section next time you're in the store. This water is phenomenal!

My good friend Kristi recently introduced me to this product. We were discussing how we have issues with always having something in our mouths (keep the dirty comments to yourself, please) - gum, food, drink, etc. She said that when she's watching what she eats, she sips on this flavored water before she eats anything... kinda like tricking her brain into thinking that she's eating something when in reality she is not. There are zero calories and carbohydrates in this drink, only 5 mg of sodium, and NO caffeine. You can't beat that!

There are six different flavors available to consumers. Of course I don't remember them all, but I will list those that I favor:

- strawberry lemonade

- pomegranate cherry

- peach mango

- raspberry blackberry

I really shouldn't choose favorites because I truly have enjoyed drinking every flavor that is available. Kristi and I went to The Target together a couple of weeks ago to purchase this product. She loaded up on pomegranate cherry (her fav) and I chose one of each flavor. She has since supplied me with a couple of extra pomegranate cherry drinks for our trips to the beach since I haven't been able to get back to The Target.

(And yes, I call it "The Target." I actually pronounce "Target" like it's a French word. You'd have to hear me say it in order to understand the sentence in all it's glory, but it sounds something like "tar-jjjjay.")

I will be visiting The Target before my trip to VA Beach this weekend - gotta stock up on the flavors since I know I won't be eating much this weekend. I plan to consume all of my calories for 3 days in the form of beverages. You gotta problem with that?! Yeah, I didn't think so.

Baby on Board

There's a baby on board, but not on my ship.

After spending all weekend planted in the sand (you know, my normal routine) and people watching to my heart's content, I have come to realize that I really dislike extremely pregnant people wearing itty bitty bikini's. I really don't like anyone wearing a tiny bikini, but especially pregnant people. I understand that these women have every right to be just as tan as the rest of us, but I just do not want to see their bulging bellies while on my days off.

Sometimes I feel like pregnant women should have their own private island where they can go to sunbathe and trade baby names and child rearing secrets.

This also brings me to the topic of being pregnant in general. Call me crazy, but I hope to never be a member of that club. While I absolutely adore little babies, I would rather not have one of my own. I much prefer baby-sitting and playing with my friends' babies. And then hastily returning their child once it starts crying or needs the teat.

I've felt this way every since I was very young, and older women have always told me that I will change my mind. I think most of those women were thinking and hoping that I would have changed my mind by now. But I haven't.

There are multiple people in my life who are pregnant - Angela, Ashley, and Valerie, just to name a few. There are also multiple people in my life who have just given birth - Adrienne and Amber immediately come to mind. While I love looking at pictures and holding these children or rubbing on their bellies, I cannot imagine being a mother. But to each her own, right?!

Those of you who are mothers, rock! Those of you who are not mothers but soon will/hope to be, also rock! Just because I do or do not want to do something, does not mean that you can or cannot do the same thing... or the complete opposite. Although I may sometimes act like a goddess, I'm really not.

(But still feel free to shower me with gifts and love as if I am a goddess. I won't complain.)

Death of a Hairdresser

Ok, so the title of this post may be a little misleading. But I honestly feel that a small part of my life is over. Please prepare yourself for what I'm about to tell you (and maybe grab a box to tissues to send my way)...

MY HAIRDRESSER IS MOVING! Not just out of town, but ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

I know that any woman can relate to the fury and chaos that is going on in my world right now. I actually lost sleep last night due to the severity of this news. Having your hairdresser move far far away is very comparable to losing a limb.

I first met Andrea about 3 years ago. At the time, my hair was very long and very blonde, and I needed someone who knew how to 1. deal with curly hair and 2. maintain the yellow sheen that I so adored at the time (I was young and in love - don't judge me). Andrea was suggested to me by a friend (who, might I add, has stick straight, fine, blonde hair). It turns out she hit the nail on the head with that suggestion! Andrea is from Richmond, VA (where half of my family resides) and also has long, thick, curly hair. It was love at first intro. When I first started visiting Andrea for my salon services, she had a booth at Primp Salon. She soon left there to work at a brand new salon, Seagrass Salon & Day Spa, and has remained there until her last day, which is tomorrow.

An aside:

Now you men may be thinking, why on earth do you follow this girl all over town? Well, MEN, it is because finding a good hairdresser is not an easy task. Especially not for yours truly. Not only was I the only person in my family to be blessed with extremely curly hair, but I was also blessed with extremely thick and unruly hair. Andrea can relate because her hair is exactly the same. She is also young (younger than I am, which always makes me feel like an old bitty) and at the time, was fresh out of cosmetology school. I like someone who knows her stuff, but is still on the cutting edge. (This is not to say, however, that I am going to walk around with pink hair or some sort of horizontal shaved haircut. But that's simply because my job won't allow it. These "professionals" sure are stuffy sometimes!)

Now, back to the topic at hand:

Andrea's last day in town is tomorrow and she has a full day of clients. She is leaving town and heading up to Richmond to see her family for a few days. She is then moving across the country with her new fiancé! They're making a trip out of this cross country move (as I did just a few years ago) and stopping in Alabama, Texas, and Vegas, just to name a few. The final destination is San Diego, CA. I told her to expect me as a guest in about a year.

While I am so happy for Andrea and Trey, I am secretly freaking out on the inside. Who is going to cut and style my hair as awesome as Andrea!? I sure as hell can't do it. I've entrusted practically my entire life to her. Hair is such an important part of a woman's life. Aside from your smile, it's one of the first thing someone notices on the opposite sex. (Or is that only in my book?) Regardless, I am so fearful that I will not find anyone who can reach the high bar that Andrea has set. Andrea is amazing. She is chatty. She is funny. She is down to earth. And she is my new Facebook friend.

Andrea did recommend another girl in the salon who has hair similar to ours and who would probably be a good shear match. She warned me that this other chick isn't very personable, and that frightens me slightly. I like to chat and gossip while getting my hair did. If I have to sit there in silence for 2 hours I may start attempting to cut my freckles out of my skin using a hair pick.

I have a couple of other friends who have recommended the same person at different salon, so I may try her first. I just don't know what to do! I figure I have at least 6 weeks to make this life altering decision. In the meantime, I'll bury my hair grief in large glasses of mimosas and endless baskets of french fries.

"Why me?" Syndrome

Every single person at one point in their life has asked them self the age old question: "Why me?" I think it's only natural to ask those questions at certain stages in your life. For example, when a relative closest to you is diagnosed with cancer out of the blue and is taken from you far too soon. (Why me? Why my family? What did we do to deserve this?) Or when two perfectly healthy parents produce a child with a disability or incurable disease.

These are not curses, people!! These are lessons. You did not make God angry; you did not do something horrible to "deserve" this so called curse or punishment. This is simply God's way of saying, "Hey, you need some spice in your life. You've had an easy road so far and now it's time to see what you're really made of." If we were all to sit on the sidelines and watch life pass us by, what fun would we have?! Now I'm not saying that cancer and the like are deserved consequences and bi-products for life, but I am saying that life isn't always rainbows and puppies.

Too often I feel that some people are cursed with what I dub the "Why me?" Syndrome. This doesn't strike just anyone. In my opinion (and please keep in mind that I am only one person and my opinion probably doesn't matter to anyone - but I will freely state it anyways), those with this syndrome are those with the lowest self-esteem; those who look for pity from others, who can never seem to "catch a break," who are always looking for some sort of validation from the outside world.

There are times when some people throw out the "Why me?" question for the stupidest scenarios. Like, "Why do I always get stuck at a red light?" Or, "Why does it always start raining when I've forgotten my umbrella?" Seriously?! Seriously?! Get over yourselves, people. There are larger issues going on in this world. I think your new hairdo will survive a few raindrops. And I sure as shit know that you won't melt.

Turn these so called "misfortunes" into opportunities and blessings... and please please please slow down. These are chances for you to learn something new about yourself, others, science, etc. Show the world what you're made of instead of letting those around you dictate your existence.

I'm sorry for all of you who feel that the world is shitting on you. Because it really isn't. I was always raised to believe that God created everyone equal and that He would never give you more than you could handle. You are the master of your destiny. Only you can determine the fate that God has set forth for you. It's up to YOU to achieve all that you can in life; it will not be laid before you like the Yellowbrick Road. (Last time I checked, we did not live in Oz.)

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, then change your attitude.

Good Luck Tiffany, er, Chuck?

I honestly feel that the movie Good Luck Chuck is based on my life. I will gladly explain why, but you must first sit through some background information.

If you've never seen the movie Good Luck Chuck, allow me to give a brief synopsis... Basically, Dane Cook's character, Chuck, is in love with Jessica Alba's character, Cam, but he is afraid to date her because as one of his friends points out, all of Chuck's ex-girlfriends end up dumping him and marrying the next person they date. Chuck knows that he is meant to be with Cam and he just can't stomach her leaving him and marrying someone else. So Chuck sets out to prove his friend wrong and sleeps with every type of girl imaginable. Eventually, all of the girls find out about Chuck's secret ability, and they're knocking down his door to sleep with him. (I guess everyone wants to get married... who knew?!)

Now you're probably wondering how this translates to my life. I will go ahead and tell you this: I'm no ho. I don't sleep with people just to sleep with them. I date people and if we so happen to get intimate, then we do. But I try to live by the 10 date rule. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. The older I get, the more often it works.

Anyways, the last few people I have dated/been in a relationship with are now either engaged, married, or with child. (I should clarify that their significant other is with child... pregnant men just scare me.) Please see the list below to verify that I am indeed telling the truth.

1. Vegas Showboat - When I lived in Vegas, I was dating and living with a fabulous young man who really does have one of the purest hearts out of anyone I've met. He's a great person, but I was way too young to be in that relationship and so far away from family. He started dating someone a few months after I moved back east, and they are now engaged and own a house full of puppies together. We still email/text from time to time just to check in on each other.

2. Redneck Riviera - We had an on and off relationship all throughout college, and finally bit the bullet and got seriously involved for about 2 years. Most of that relationship was long distance, but towards the end we did end up moving in together once I attained my current job. Never in my life have I met someone who so badly wanted to be married, and I honestly wanted that with him too. Hindsight now shows me that I was a fool to want that with him! He's very knowledgeable about so many subjects, but isn't very well versed in the world of Tiffany. After we broke up, he casually dated a couple of skanks, I mean girls, who shall remain nameless. He finally found "the one" and they are now engaged and own a house together. We only speak when we "need" something from one another - like car advice or names of restaurants or wine.

3. The Mexican - This kid has established a nickname for himself. He will also probably read this blog so I'll attempt to be somewhat vague with details.... I really don't know what our "relationship" was, but it was fun while it lasted. We actually met through a mutual friend (his ex, my good friend) and hit it off. We spent a lot of time together and generally always had fun around each other. I will say, however, that no one has ever hurt my feelings like he has. And that was partially my fault, as I was coming out of a serious relationship and expected to jump into another one. He did not. Anyways, I stopped talking to him after I found out that he was dating someone else and a few months later found out through the grapevine that she was pregnant. They are now engaged, living together, and looking forward to the arrival of a baby titan. We are currently on speaking terms and my life is now once again complete. ;)

4. Beanstalk Boy - After The Mexican, I briefly dated another guy. He was amazing - really someone's perfect guy. But he was too perfect. I don't do perfect. After we stopped dating, he met someone else (like, 2 weeks later... a little soon, doncha think!?) and is still with her. They're not technically engaged yet, but I think it's in the works for the very near future. I don't speak to him unless I see him and I've never technically met her, although I do know who she is.

(Please note that I am so so so so SO happy for everyone I have just mentioned! There are absolutely no hard feelings and I wish them all the very best of luck with their future wives and children. Everything has honestly worked out for the very best for all parties.)

So, hopefully now you can all understand my theory. I just don't get it. I'm not overcome with grief that everyone is getting married/having babies and I'm not, but I am a little confused as to how I keep getting skipped. It would be nice to meet a strapping young man to act as a companion; I don't think I'm really one to need a ring or sign a piece of paper. But at the same time, I do have other things that I would like to accomplish before settling down - which are far more important to me than a relationship. So I'm assuming this is God's way of saying that I need to do those things that I really adore and want to do NOW, instead of settling.

Yes, that's it...

I guess all of the men lined up outside of my door are going to have to take a number. At least for the next week, anyways.

Is Memorial Day supposed to be full of memories?

Oh how I adore three day weekends! Or in my case most recently, a four day weekend.

My sister decided a couple of weeks ago that she wanted to come to the beach for Memorial Day weekend. Now who am I to turn away family fun?! I willingly took off last Friday so we could bask in the glory of the Wrightsville Beach sun and surf for four whole fabulous days. I stocked up on sunblock and pulled out my beach cover-ups from the depths of my closet. I made a valiant attempt to clean the house and warned my roommate about the debauchery that would inevitably ensue with her arrival.

Jenna arrived around 3 a.m. on Friday morning. The girl worked a full day and then drove 6 hours to see me - bless her heart! I, of course, slept while she was driving. I damn well knew that would be my last opportunity to catch some real z's until June... and I am so glad I did! I have this horrible habit of waking up around 6 or 7 a.m., regardless of whether or not I have to be at work that day - weekends included. So I hopped my happy ass out of bed Friday morning around 7 a.m. and started packing for the beach. We ran a few errands and finally made it to the sand around noon. My friend Kristi and her bff from college, Brooke, were already out there waiting for our company. My friend Robbie also met us out there around 1 p.m. We then had a fabulous lunch outside in the sun at South Beach Grill and immediately starting drinking. I'm not quite sure what happened that evening, but apparently we had fun. We did manage to shower (separately) and throw on some make up and mosey on down to the beach bars. All of the details between those events are pretty blurry. Nonexistent, actually. All in all, I'd say it was a successful night!

Saturday, Sunday, and Monday included more of the same - sand, sun, booze, boats, water. You name it, we did it! Saturday night we visited the downtown bars with Robbie and his friend Jerry. We all wanted Jenn to have a taste of the gay bar and true to family fashion, she loved every second of it. We made it out to Masonboro Island on Sunday and I finally got to ride on a jet ski. Yes, I grew up near the water but I was always on the boat fishing, not running around on some crazy water crotch rocket (which, I found, were super fantastically fun). Monday was a day of complete relaxation and recovery. Throughout the whole weekend, we found that we often forgot to eat - we were just too busy being fabulous! So by the time Monday rolled around, we had barely eaten, had drank too much, and not gotten nearly enough sleep. Needless to say, we collapsed on the beach. Jenn left around 5:30 p.m. to head back up to MD and I shot across town to play in a volleyball tournament. I was near death since I hadn't eaten but I managed to make it home around 11 p.m. and in one piece. Jenn also made it home around the same time.

Here's a photo of Jenna dodging the waves on Monday. She aaaaalmost wiped out on this one!

I was miserable at work on Tuesday. I was going through caffeine (and alcohol) withdrawal, I had cramps, and all I wanted to do was sleep. Wednesday was deemed a mental health day so I took off work and slept all damn day. I surely would have killed someone in my office if I had not stayed home to sleep. Thursday rolled by (thanks to fun adventures with Nat after work!) and Friday is my regular half day at work. Guess what I plan to do at noon? GO TO THE BEACH! This time, I'll leave the liquor at home.

The next time Jenna comes to visit, please remind me to hire someone to videotape our lives for the weekend. Maybe that way we'll have a better chance of remembering things. At the very least, we'll have a pilot episode for our new TV show.

Staff Meetings

Is anyone else required to attend weekly staff meetings? I really feel like they are a waste of my time. Allow me to explain why...

You see, my boss, Rob, is a pretty busy guy. He's our Executive Director so he's always out schmoozing and hob-knobbing with "high society" in Wilmington. Either that or he's in meetings all day (which are also probably pointless). Because Rob is barely in the office, none of "his" employees have a chance to ask him questions or update him on office/campus happenings. This is when staff meetings come into play.

I was always under the impression that staff meetings were a time for one to brainstorm and collaborate with co-workers (at least, that's what they have been at my previous professional jobs), and maybe briefly share with others what you have coming up over the next few days - if you feel so inclined to do so (I rarely do). At this job, however, staff meetings are a time when Lindsay, Crystal, and Kim ask/tell Rob what's going on in their day-to-day lives. I frankly do not care because I already hear about this nonsense on an hourly basis. I have enough work related things to worry about. I do not want to hear about how a member of the Board didn't RSVP for an event but showed up anyways and complained the whole time about how cold the food was or how the trashcan was full. (And I kid you not when I say that these are topics of discussion.)

If I have something to tell/ask Rob, do you know what I do? I PICK UP THE PHONE! (It's probably a new fad and hasn't quite reached the other side of the office yet, but I find that it works fabulously well for me. Folks on campus have even taken to using this device!) I think that Alexander Graham Bell sheds a tear every time someone properly utilizes his invention. I'm not quite sure who invented the Blackberry, but I'm sure that Rob is making that person proud by knowingly using said device to answer my frequent calls.

I really don't see the point in wasting everyone else's time talking about budget issues that do not pertain to them. If it were me - and this happens to me often - I would not want to sit around a table listening to someone ramble on and on about which table linens to use so that they hit the floor just so in an effort to conceal the table legs and scratches on the floor. Just choose a damn linen and give me the bill so I can pay for it, ok?

So, if you ever need to reach me on Wednesdays between the hours of 10 a.m. and noon, chances are I'm downstairs slitting my wrists with my fingernails and unraveling the carpet with my pen.

Dr. McGraw

For the past few weeks, I have been visiting Dr. Eric McGraw at Active Care Chiropractic for treatment on my right shoulder and left knee. Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I can't sit still and that these joints have been giving me issues for years. With that being said, it is also fairly easy to surmise that going to the doctor is a big deal for me because I know he's going to tell me that I'm not allowed to do what I love - most recently, running, boot camp, and playing volleyball. I was a bio major - I know that my body needs time to heal. But dammit I just don't like sitting still! I should have just gotten him to work on one area at a time so that way I could still run while he's working on my shoulder, or still swim and do arm work while he's working on my knee. Did I do that? No, of course not. Why? Because I was captivated by his beauty. (OK, not really... but maybe just a smidge.)

I visit Dr. McSteamy, er, I mean, McGraw 2-3 times per week, depending on how badly he hurts me at the previous appointment. He practices what is called active release therapy, which is really just him massaging the muscles, tendons, and ligaments surrounding my problem areas in an effort to break up and disperse scar tissue. Apparently, because I've been such an avid athlete for 20 years, I have large amounts of scar tissue that is "not normal" for people my age. Go figure.

Needless to say, I hurt after visiting this man. It takes every ounce of energy I have just to make it home (which is only 4 miles away) and snag the ice pack from the jam packed freezer. (I have this handy dandy ice pack thing by Cryo-Max that fits into a little sleeve and affixes to itself with velcro. It's the best invention! That way I don't have to worry about cold condensation hitting my skin, thereby causing the ice pack to slip off of my body. The photo below is similar to what I have now. Mine is just two of the squares, although I wouldn't mind having the one below. Anyways, you get the point.)

I'll ice my shoulder for 20 minutes while I catch up on emails, then switch the pack to my knee for 20 minutes with my leg propped up, and then switch back to my shoulder for 20 minutes. As you can probably tell from this dialog, my shoulder hurts more than my knee. I like to compare that pain to childbirth, but I've never experienced childbirth so that's probably not a good example... let's just say that I'd almost rather have monthly cramps than have this shoulder pain for the rest of my life. (This therapy is an attempt to "heal" my shoulder so I do not have to have surgery any time soon. Fingers crossed that it works!)

Aside from having to shell out 50$ every time I go to see Dr. McGraw, I will say one fabulous thing about vising him: he really keeps me motivated to shave my legs.

Mis Amigos

I would like to give a huge shout out to my bff Cassie! Cassie is my first official blog follower - whoop whoop!

I figured that since my life pretty much revolves around my friends and their salacious gossip, I need to introduce them to my reading public. (Now that I think about it, my reading public probably consists of all of my friends... but at least you kids can get to know each other again!)

Cassie hails from Raleigh, NC by way of New Jersey. Don't worry, she's not one of those Jersey Shore chicks. She's been in NC for far too long to succumb to the hair pouf and bump-it phase that is sweeping the nation yet again. Cassie has been my #1 encourager from my first mention of starting a blog (I'm so glad someone else thinks I'm funny!) and I cannot thank her enough for that.

Cassie, who I will sometimes refer to as Red, and I met in college at UNCW. We were both Gamma Chi's during our senior years. Even though Cassie was a rival Alpha Phi and I was a Sigma Sigma Sigma, we hit it off from the get go - and we haven't let go of each other since! THANK.GOD. because I would go crazy if I did not talk to this woman on a daily basis.

Megan Alexis was born, raised, and currently resides in Southampton, NY. Megan and I also met in college - her sophomore year, my freshman year. We were both pledges for Sigma and bonded instantly. Today, we share a love of anything pink, sparkly, and/or containing champagne. Megan knows me inside and out and graciously shares with me the stories of poop, farts, puke, and the like. I desperately wish that Megan lived near me but alas, she has family business to tend to in NY. She's pretty popular.

Rachael hails from my don't-blink-or-you'll-miss-it hometown but currently resides in Owings Mills, MD. I lovingly refer to Rachael as Gina. I'm not sure how or why this nickname originated, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with her large ass and boobs. Gina and I met when we were 15 (Maybe? Gina is SO much better with dates than I am.) and playing club volleyball together in the off-season. It turns out that I had gone to school with her cousins since kindergarten - I knew her whole family except for her. Her dad and my dad also played baseball together back in the day, so our parents knew each other as well. Small world! Well, not really coming from our town, but you get my drift. Gina and I are known for our 3-4 hour long phone dates where she dominates a majority of the conversation with her lengthy and detailed stories (bless her heart).

Jenna is my step-sister and bff. She still lives in the world's smallest town in MD but works at the Navy Yard in D.C. I commonly refer to Jenna as either "my sister" or "Jenn." My dad (Gregg) married her mom (Sharon) in 2000. They dated for a few years before that but don't ask me how long because I honestly don't remember - let's just say they've been together since the beginning of time. They really are made for each other. How they both were married to other people long enough to have children is a mystery to me.

Anyways, Jenna and I bonded during our teenage years and have been having a blast ever since! There used to be a time when we were both size 2's and could share clothes... sadly, those days came to an end 10 years ago. While we are both still skinny, she wins the "big boob" award. Not because she acts like a fool, but because she really does have the bigger boobs.

Natalie-Anne and I met during our sophomore year of college through a mutual friend. The friendship was very convenient seeing as how we would have at least one class together each semester thereafter. How the two of us managed to survive so long without each other is a small miracle! Nat is so friendly and nice, although very straight to the point. She doesn't sugarcoat anything (hello, that's why she's a doctor!) so you know we get along like two peas in a pod! Nat is doing the one thing that I said I wanted to do but just didn't have the energy to complete - she is becoming a veterinarian. She has completed an additional 4 years of grueling education and is now in the process of taking her boards. She will pass, of course, with flying colors but just needs some encouragement along the way. YOU GO GIRL!

I was fortunate enough to be a bridesmaid in Nat's wedding to Michael on New Year's Eve in 2008. (This wedding is also known as the most fun wedding I've ever attended. I'm not sure if that's due to the fact that I was watching my best friend get married on my favorite holiday, or if it was due to the 4 bottles of champagne that I alone consumed. Either way, it went down in the record books!) Little did Michael realize that he is now not only stuck with Natalie, but he is also stuck with me. There are many a day when he comes home from work to find Nat and I plopped down on the couch watching Wheel of Fortune and screaming at the TV (hey, at least we cook dinner for him). Our evenings usually end with Michael terrorizing the elderly feline, Tinkerbell, followed by a friendly game (or eight) on the Wii.

(This next person isn't really a good friend, but I include him in the group nonetheless. I will probably talk, complain, make fun of, etc. about this person until the day I die... so I felt the need to include a brief synopsis.)

Rob is my boss in Wilmington, NC. He was born and raised somewhere in the midwest - Illinois, maybe? - but his parents live in Tennessee and he went to like, two different colleges which really confuses me. Currently, his lips and every other body part are attached to a certain clitoris so I don't see much of him outside of work anymore. We used to often grab lunch together, head out to Tower 7 for dollar taco night on Mondays, grab beers on the weekend, etc. Rob is so needy and whiny, that I often wonder how he snagged himself a girlfriend. For a while there, everyone thought I was going to have to marry Rob because it seemed that I was the only one who knew how to handle his nonsense. I thank God every day for creating someone as patient (but clearly not as awesome or attractive) as I and able to deal with little Robbie.

Rob's sister, Jamie, is a super fun gal! I have yet to actually meet her in person, but we chat on Facebook from time to time. She's a jazz singer on a cruise ship in the Mediterranean. Her life is really difficult sometimes. I'm still trying to figure out a way to pass as her sister so I can get a free vacation.

*Note: I know I have not included some of my nearest and dearest friends in this list. Do not fear! I will be updating this list over the next week. Please check back for your amazingly awesome description!*

Julie and Julia and my Parisian Obsession

Anyone who knows me knows of my love for anything and everything having to do with Paris. Movies, therefore, should be no exception. Movies about Paris, in fact, are probably THE worst punishment I bring upon myself. These movies are the biggest reminder that I must reside in the good ol' ewe-ess-of-ay because this is where my job resides. (Speaking of... does anyone know of any companies in Europe that are hiring?! Or maybe an American company that will allow me to telecommute from Europe?!)

I was at the Redbox a couple of months ago, paging through movies that I haven't yet seen, when I stumbled upon Julie & Julia. For some reason, I never got around to seeing this movie in the theater, and still I was DYING to see it (I blame it on work). When I saw it at the RB, I just knew that little red box containing the delightment that is Julie & Julia had to make it's way over the bridge to Wrightsville Beach. And so, it did... and I was enamored from the very first second. (I have probably failed to mention that not only do I adore Paris, but I adore cooking and eating (and always have). I also adore movies that take place in an era other than that in which I am currently living, specifically the 1940s and 1950s.)

I don't know what it is about this movie that encapsulates Paris and all that it entails, but it's good enough for me! There aren't that many scenes where Julia is out and about in the city of Paris itself (Julie never actually leaves NYC in this movie), but something about her experiences while living and learning to cook in Paris emulates a native Parisian's lifestyle. Wouldn't it be lovely to live in Europe and do nothing but attempt to blend in? (When does my flight leave?!)

Needless to say, a few months after the initial viewing, when I saw that Julie & Julia was on sale at the Target for 7$, I had to purchase it. I am watching it now and my heart is breaking, mainly because I am not in Paris.

Did I also mention that I just returned from Paris in mid-October?! Maybe I need to see a therapist about this obsession... or maybe I really should just move there instead...

P.S. - Jane Lynch is also in this movie and I adore her! I shall save my love of Glee for another post.