If you've never seen the movie Good Luck Chuck, allow me to give a brief synopsis... Basically, Dane Cook's character, Chuck, is in love with Jessica Alba's character, Cam, but he is afraid to date her because as one of his friends points out, all of Chuck's ex-girlfriends end up dumping him and marrying the next person they date. Chuck knows that he is meant to be with Cam and he just can't stomach her leaving him and marrying someone else. So Chuck sets out to prove his friend wrong and sleeps with every type of girl imaginable. Eventually, all of the girls find out about Chuck's secret ability, and they're knocking down his door to sleep with him. (I guess everyone wants to get married... who knew?!)
Now you're probably wondering how this translates to my life. I will go ahead and tell you this: I'm no ho. I don't sleep with people just to sleep with them. I date people and if we so happen to get intimate, then we do. But I try to live by the 10 date rule. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. The older I get, the more often it works.
Anyways, the last few people I have dated/been in a relationship with are now either engaged, married, or with child. (I should clarify that their significant other is with child... pregnant men just scare me.) Please see the list below to verify that I am indeed telling the truth.
1. Vegas Showboat - When I lived in Vegas, I was dating and living with a fabulous young man who really does have one of the purest hearts out of anyone I've met. He's a great person, but I was way too young to be in that relationship and so far away from family. He started dating someone a few months after I moved back east, and they are now engaged and own a house full of puppies together. We still email/text from time to time just to check in on each other.
2. Redneck Riviera - We had an on and off relationship all throughout college, and finally bit the bullet and got seriously involved for about 2 years. Most of that relationship was long distance, but towards the end we did end up moving in together once I attained my current job. Never in my life have I met someone who so badly wanted to be married, and I honestly wanted that with him too. Hindsight now shows me that I was a fool to want that with him! He's very knowledgeable about so many subjects, but isn't very well versed in the world of Tiffany. After we broke up, he casually dated a couple of skanks, I mean girls, who shall remain nameless. He finally found "the one" and they are now engaged and own a house together. We only speak when we "need" something from one another - like car advice or names of restaurants or wine.
3. The Mexican - This kid has established a nickname for himself. He will also probably read this blog so I'll attempt to be somewhat vague with details.... I really don't know what our "relationship" was, but it was fun while it lasted. We actually met through a mutual friend (his ex, my good friend) and hit it off. We spent a lot of time together and generally always had fun around each other. I will say, however, that no one has ever hurt my feelings like he has. And that was partially my fault, as I was coming out of a serious relationship and expected to jump into another one. He did not. Anyways, I stopped talking to him after I found out that he was dating someone else and a few months later found out through the grapevine that she was pregnant. They are now engaged, living together, and looking forward to the arrival of a baby titan. We are currently on speaking terms and my life is now once again complete. ;)
4. Beanstalk Boy - After The Mexican, I briefly dated another guy. He was amazing - really someone's perfect guy. But he was too perfect. I don't do perfect. After we stopped dating, he met someone else (like, 2 weeks later... a little soon, doncha think!?) and is still with her. They're not technically engaged yet, but I think it's in the works for the very near future. I don't speak to him unless I see him and I've never technically met her, although I do know who she is.
(Please note that I am so so so so SO happy for everyone I have just mentioned! There are absolutely no hard feelings and I wish them all the very best of luck with their future wives and children. Everything has honestly worked out for the very best for all parties.)
So, hopefully now you can all understand my theory. I just don't get it. I'm not overcome with grief that everyone is getting married/having babies and I'm not, but I am a little confused as to how I keep getting skipped. It would be nice to meet a strapping young man to act as a companion; I don't think I'm really one to need a ring or sign a piece of paper. But at the same time, I do have other things that I would like to accomplish before settling down - which are far more important to me than a relationship. So I'm assuming this is God's way of saying that I need to do those things that I really adore and want to do NOW, instead of settling.
Yes, that's it...
I guess all of the men lined up outside of my door are going to have to take a number. At least for the next week, anyways.
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