Mr. Fish, Did you die?!

I find it funny, yet odd, that people I used to talk to on an almost daily basis for dozens of years seem to have fallen off of the face of the Earth.

I understand that everyone has their own separate lives, and within those lives are infinite amounts of chaos. What I don't understand, however, is how someone can blatantly choose to ignore someone who is [supposedly] your best friend. Sure, you get wrapped up in a relationship or your parents get sick or your job starts to become more demanding. I get it. We all go through these things at some point in our lives, sometimes even simultaneously... but we somehow manage to maintain relationships.

They say, of course (whoever "they" is), that we only work to maintain the relationships that we choose to keep. Which leads me to this: How can a person choose one friend over the other?

For example, you choose your boyfriend over your best friend. Isn't there a way to have harmony in your world so that you can hang out with your boyfriend and your best friend? Maybe not together at the same time, but perhaps on alternating nights or only on Wednesdays, etc.? Are you saying that your best friend is no longer valuable enough to you, and that he/she does not deserve your free time? Are you saying that your significant other has taken the place of a best friend? Are best friends replaceable?

Maybe I'm missing something. I don't know. But last I checked, I needed an active social life outside of my dating life. If I hung around only my boyfriend (assuming I have one) 24/7, I would literally go insane. I need some estrogen. I need some wine. I need some gossip. Men don't offer that. Unless, of course, they're gay... in which case I'd hang out with them instead of my girlfriends. (But honestly, my gay friends are in my girlfriends category. I'm better friends with them than I am most of my girl friends.)

There are some people I've known since middle school, who are happily married with multiple children. I talk to them on a regular basis, and I always have. But then there are people I've known only since college, who have boyfriends they live with, who work right down the street from me, who I only hear from when I initiate conversation. Or when they hear gossip about me (it's a small town, and usually full of lies). Or when they literally run into me in a store.

I know that losing friends is part of growing up. I understand that they were in your life at one time for a reason, and they have left your life for a different reason. I know that they are opening a spot for a "better" person to come along and fill. But I'd still like to know why.